you see, the thing is this...
i had this thought when i first started this blog, that everything would be upbeat, and happy, and positive. and well, as much as all of those things are good, they aren't always real and the person i find myself portraying is not always me. of course, i try to be that person as often as i can, but being happy and shiny all the time is far from realistic... for anyone, really. sometimes, you have days where you decide to wear your favorite white sweater and that's the day you happen to spill your scorching hot coffee down your front. and not only is your skin burning through the now stained fabric, you just wasted a whole latte that you had been looking forward to drinking all morning. days like that happen! heck even weeks like that happen sometimes, where things just go wrong or not exactly as planned, and i am finding it within myself to let that be okay. i am accepting that nothing is really truly ever black and white and that it's okay to be somewhere between the lines.
it's all right to be upset sometimes. to be sad. to be angry. and i find that i am having to constantly remind myself that these are normal human emotions and that it is truly silly to pretend that i do not have days in which i struggle, just like everyone else. however, i also know that dwelling in those days is also not a healthy behavior. i have to find an in-between that works for me and that is exactly what i shall do.
so with that being said, i think from here on, some of the posts that i share will be on a more personal level. more... real. more... me. and i hope you understand. in the end, this is my place for reflection, my thoughts, my dreams, my memories, my hopes, and all things in between.
i'd also like to mention that i am going to start throwing in a little bit of my writing here and there whenever i get the chance. you know, prose and all that jazz. it's been months since i have gotten out my journal and had something just spill out of my heart, but i am going to take more time and find my voice again. and for that, i am truly excited. there's nothing that settles my soul more than sharing my words and creating something beautiful out of nothing.
you'll hear from me soon, i promise. and i shall bring you great things.
