so, seeing as i've been away for a couple weeks, i figured i'd catalog some of my recent moments-- some of my thoughts and feelings too. you know, the good stuff. or downright boring stuff? who's to really say.
1. i am tired. physically. emotionally. mentally. just plain tired. is there a specific reason behind the eye drooping, mopiness? not really--at all actually. at least as far as i am aware. it just is what it is, and whatever it is-- i hope it goes away soon. maybe it's this terribly long winter that's finally taking its toll on me. i am ready for midnight thunder storms, windows wide open-- fresh air replacing the old, the return of color, sunshine kissing my skin again, birds chirping in the skies, children outside playing-- laughing-- enjoying their youth, watching the flowers bloom, the feeling of everything being renewed--coming back to life. i am ready to feel alive again. come home, spring. we miss you.
2. i have been rearranging my living quarters for the past couple of weeks. i mean, it's coming along, just very slowly. i'm the take-everything-out-at-once-making-a-really-massive mess-in-order-to-completely-reorganize, kinda gal. so, everything seemingly gets a lot worse before it gets better. but it will get better and that's exciting. i have also been really keen on simplifying. it's not an easy task, though.
you see, i am what i like to call an emotional hoarder. meaning, if that tee-shirt from the ninth grade has any sort of sentimental value, you can bet your bottom i still have it hanging up in my closet. same goes for notes, trinkets, cards, shoes, etc. however, i've been working on this problem and it's definitely coming along and i am so, so proud of myself. in attempts to forgo my bad cleaning habits, i have been using ms. bridget's tips + tricks for getting my little space tidy and you can find them here .
3. tuna sandwiches have been my life source as of late. i don't know what it is about them lately, but i just can't seem to get enough. oh, and bbq jimmy chips. i am apologizing in advance for my breath.
4. my pentax came in the mail last week and i cannot wait to bring that little gal out on the town to take 'er for a spin. hello, film world. i think i love you.
5. wanderlust. i just cannot get over this overpowering itch to get up, pack my car, and leave this town. my whole life, or at least for as long as i can remember, i had a plan. that plan was to start a family of my own at twenty-one. i understand that twenty-one is a quite ripe age and in some folk's opinion, a little young to have those dreams-- but not to me. my mother had me when she was twenty-one and so that was a dream i had for myself as well. seeing as i turned twenty-one last month, i saw those dreams coming to a standpoint. having a family right now just isn't in my cards. i have truly found peace with that. so, i changed my dreams.
the only thing i know for sure right now is this: i wish to travel. the world. anywhere and everywhere-- i would just like to go. maybe running from myself, maybe finding myself-- really living. living for me. so, who knows. maybe one of these days i'll decide to quit my job where i hide behind a desk and a smile, and i'll just pack up and go-- see where my heart takes me. until then, i've been putting together quite an extensive list of places i'd like to go someday. i promise i'll share them with you. so for now, i guess we'll start here--with dreaming. and it's a really fine place to start.
"i think when you're young, you should be a lot with your self and your sufferings. then one day you get out where the sun shines, and the rain rains, and the snow snows and it all comes together."
diana vreeland
